My savior. My little bear.

Oh sweet relief

The answer to all my unsolved problems.

It’s so simple.

So peaceful.

I didn’t have much meaning here anyways.

I could do it.

At least that’s what I felt before

I planned on ending it.

I picked a date because I saw it might not get better. By the end of it, id make it where no one cared about me anymore.

I could push them all away and go quietly into that good night.

Sitting on the tailgate, I began to feel light rain and I was watching the blood run down into my white socks from my freshly butchered thighs.

Crimson satisfaction.

But something broke my concentration.

It sounded like a small bird but from the bushes sprung a very small black kitten with no tail and sickly eyes.

I stared at it in disbelief. I just came out here to be alone but now I sit, staring innocence in the face.

I hopped down and he began to purr and rub my ankles.

I scooped up the fluff ball and realized he wasn’t even a pound yet. His eyes were crusted and he was flea infested.

He looked into me.

He said he needed me.

So I took him inside, cleaned the dirty kitten, combed all the fleas out and rushed him to the vet.

There, they gave me meds to treat his double eye infection and told me he was under weight for a four week old kitten.

I sat there, holding a small bundle that slept soundly in a lime green office and really reconsidered my decision.

He needed me. And he gave me a purpose. He was someone else that depended on me to care for him. And I realized he was the reason I needed to consider staying.

Now, healthy as a horse, and up to two pounds, he’s still my baby. I named the cub looking poof little bear and I couldn’t be happier. I’m awoken every day with kisses and purring trills and a cold paw on my cheek.

Related posts:

By now you can see I’m all about our ancestors. Today was my brother’s earthly birthday. Fond memories of Christopher today. This is an article I wrote in 2006 about him. Twenty years and I still…

Earlier this week I was playing around with a toy problem which involves returning a boolean denoting whether or not a given string contains balanced parentheses or not. Basically, for a correct…

Having met Sally Mann in 2016 was an exciting experience. She is a woman with an acute intelligence and sensitive power that paralyzes anyone. In the defense of her role as a mother, she said: “The…