The one skill that changed my world as a designer

I decided to write this as my very first post because I think in design and in any other discipline few people know about the use of soft skills, but most important: what it takes to master them. Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know, you could watch youtube videos about leadership, reading every management and people’s skills book available out there and may be talking with other colleagues and friends about tips to uncover the secret sauce of the actual formula to successfully influence and articulate your design decisions.

That was me. You see, I wasn’t consciously aware that I used to be obsessed with the details of being perfect at anything: a new skill, a new tool, or just simply trying to eradicate a bad habit, as if it was a simple “action item” then get the satisfaction to mark it as “checked”. Phew! This is quite embarrassing but that’s precisely why I wanted to share this.

Being excellent means a lot of things in so many different contexts (and let’s not include the different ways people interpret things) but for me it was just the hustling, grinding, demonstrating how much energy I had to keep pushing and looking tirelessly for words to validate my work. I truly believed that was the actual way of becoming a successful designer but the truth is that reality paid me a visit, and it was a very painful one.

I realized I made a basic mistake at my job. I felt I was failing as a designer but not in terms of technical skills, but more on being a better team player for my team. I initially thought that I wasn’t succeeding at this, mainly because of the lack of motivation, lack of understanding the best way to communicate and engage with my team and may be some pressure related to the fact that we were not making progress at all.

I realized that I let the one thing that affects every single high performance individual in every organization run the show for me, and that my friends was ego. My ego.

Fortunately I make the decision to learn from my mistakes and evolve. I learned that every single step you make towards a deep change comes from a decision based on commitment, ownership and the insatiable need of making it a reality. I committed to work hard and become a better person for myself and my team.

So, that’s one of my stories. After spending a long time meditating, I came up with the conclusion that one of the skills that I was missing (or at least I wasn’t really good at) was the art of influence; designing my personalized way of influence to become a better contributor.

After that experience, I decided to help other designers and people in general to do the work to improve their personal skills; focusing on better communication, positive influencing and leading my example. The very first step you have to practice is…

Uh? Yes! And I know… so simple and so cliché may be, but from my experience observing other professionals, this is where most people could let their emotions get to them. As designers and creative people, we are extremely passionate individuals and sometimes we let our emotions run the show until they get out of control.

How many times have you immediately reacted when someone criticizes one of your high best designs? Or may be answering right away when someone was making a point about correcting your work? The dynamic of reacting and immediately trying to optimally manage everything outside your head was mainly the root issue in my personal journey.

I often tell people and other designers to become aware of how you react in those uncomfortable situations. Knowing yourself and learning to manage your emotions is one of the best secret weapons you could have in your professional and personal life.

Learning to respond instead of react is how we could effectively manage ourselves and be an example for the people we work with. As it is practiced in an user centered design approach, being the empathizer in chief for your users and caring about your customers and your team, promotes an environment of synergy and empathy where everybody is performing at their best and results are showing right away.

So, in conclusion, take ownership of your emotions and act accordingly to your core principles. Never forget to be kind and humble with yourself and with your team. Always learn to recognize the opportunities you have to keep growing and practice everyday the things you know you need more optimization with. And finally, always be willing to give. The simple act of giving more of your best self is one solid step forward towards living a happier life full of joy and the art of self mastery.

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